It might come as a surprise to some people that, as a feminist, I care about the men in my stories as much as I care about the women. Sometimes, I care about them even more. Because as much as I want to see women on the big screen in strong, active and dynamic roles, I also want to see men there who treat women well and respect them.
This is why I'd like to take a look at a couple male characters whose particular brand of masculinity I greatly admire. And while I have a couple men on my list, no character comes close, and few even compare, to Steve Rogers/ Captain America.
I could write pages about all the great qualities this character exhibits and why I think they're so important (and maybe I will, at some point), but I'll start with the moment that exemplifies, to me, at least, the magnificent masculinity of Steve Rogers/ Captain America—the moment he meets Scarlett Johansson's character Natasha Romanoff/ The Black Widow in The Avengers.
Don't remember that scene? Let me describe it. Fury has just brought Steve aboard the helicarrier to join the Avengers team, and Natasha Romanoff comes up to greet him. Remember what Steve says?
"Ma'am."
Are you swooning?
I am.
Do I need to explain why?
Okay.
For this to make sense, we might need to first go back and recall how Natasha's character is first introduced in Iron Man 2.
Remember this scene?
Natasha, in the guise of Natalie Rushmore, comes as a legal secretary to help turn Tony's company over to Pepper.
Remember what Tony Stark says after meeting her?
"I want one."
I don't want to be too big a party pooper here. I know this comes after a good bit of friendly banter and is funny. It's funny to watch Natasha take down Happy, especially after he so greatly underestimated her her physical prowess, and it's funny to watch Tony and Pepper bicker—even though it's over how this new legal secretary might be a "potentially a very expensive sexual harassment lawsuit."
I understand that they're joking. But I want us to realize these jokes are based on the idea that objectifying a woman is funny.
And it's not.
Or, if it is, I just want to take a moment to point out how disrespectful that can be.
When a young woman arrives at her place of work, she's not allowed to simply do her job. The men in the room patronize her, objectify her, comment on how she looks and think it's okay to look at pictures of her in her underwear.
(And seriously, she had to be a lingerie model? really? that's the sort of side hustle an international spy would pick up? great way to keep an identity hidden, stay undercover. . . but I digress).
My point is that this isn't okay, and I worry that, when young people see characters they love, characters they admire and look up to behave like this, they learn, at least on some level, that it's acceptable. And it isn't.
It's in this context that I appreciate Captain America so much. Why I love the moment when he meets Natasha. He never questions her abilities, comments on her appearance, or disrespects her in any way. He just treats her like a person, like an equal, who's there to do a job. And that's exactly the way it should be.
And I know it's not funny, guys, I get it's not the most entertaining moment in the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe.
But I kind of think it's one of the most important.
Am I reading too much into this? Being too hard on Tony Stark/ Iron Man? Maybe. But let's not forget the dude also makes a prima nocta joke in Avengers: Age of Ultron. So I'll rest my case.
Other great moments of Captain America being the world's best feminist? Here's just a few of my favorites:
Visiting Peggy in the (hospital?) in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. It's so often excusable for men to react negatively at seeing the woman they love (or think they love) in a new relationship. They can be aggressive, stalkery, or just cruel in all sorts of other ways. It's really refreshing to see a man who's genuinely happy that the woman he loved has moved on (or at least appears to have moved on) and accept that with no hard feelings.
Apologizing to Tony at the end of Civil War. Tony's not a woman, but any time toxic masculinity is challenged I consider a win for feminism. Men so rarely apologize, admit mistakes, or try to have any sort of conversation that borders on anything remotely emotional, and I just love that Cap is willing to lay his emotions bare here, take ownership for what he did, and try to make amends.
Crying for Natasha in End Game. Shedding tears is another thing that manly men just don't seem to do in the movies, and I'm totally here for Cap rebuking that harsh stigma as well. It's okay for men to cry when they're sad, like when one of their best friends dies. It is a great way to upend toxic masculinity and to honor his and Natasha's friendship.
So, thanks, Cap. Thanks for showing the world that respecting women doesn't make a man weak, or wimpy, or soft. I hope it's meant a lot to other people besides me.
Would you like to learn about other examples of positive masculinity on the big screen? Check out this video from Pop Culture Detective on YouTube: The Fantastic Masculinity of Newt Scamander. And this video from Cinema Therapy about Aragorn vs. Non-Toxic Masculinity.
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